Stop Trying to be Everything
Have you ever been humbled?
It’s 9 PM, I am in my sweatpants finishing a homework assignments as my phone rings. Picking the phone up from a dear friend of mine, I can hear her crying. Concerned, I ask, “What’s up?” in a sentimental tone, giving her time to recover. She begins with her insecurity, “I am not good enough to lead a ministry.” In the midst of her breakdown she repeats the same questions, “Kaelia’s not answering her phone, can you have Kaelia call me?”. Knowing full well I can help her, I immediately feel a sense of jealousy thinking, “Why can’t I be the one you confide in?”. As the conversation continues, she opens up to me about her dehumanizing thoughts about herself as I get to listen and inspire her to think of herself as God thinks of her.
I’ve had four months to reflect on this, why did I feel jealousy? I think that I believed that I could be all things to all people. I think I believed that I could handle any situation. I think I believed that I am all someone needs. Of course, I would never admit these things (besides right now), but maybe my secret desire is to be everything somebody requires.
The sad fact of the matter is that I can’t be everything, if I was, I would be God! Although a convincing argument could be made, this is probably not the case. I offer specific gifts to the world and other gifts are left to those around me.
People will come to me because they want to be inspired to action more than they might come to me to be consoled. When I let go of the idea that I have the capability to be everything to anyone, I can truly be freed to live in my gifts. I am not good at everything, but I am good at some things, and that is okay.
This is why we need community, we cannot find everything our heart desires in one person. It takes a village to raise a human being for a reason. There is freedom in allowing yourself to be freed from the pressure to hold up the world. Let yourself be a part of the body instead of attempting to be the whole body.