Sunday night some of my community and I went to Coronado Island. Even though it's called an island it's really a peninsula on one side facing downtown San Diego and the other the Pacific Ocean. After we got our expensive hot chocolate from Starbucks, we started walking along side the Mom & Pop stores as they were playing their favorite Christmas music.
Since we couldn't fit eight people side by side on the sidewalk, we broke into pairs of two. My pair asked me a question about my past, something she would later remark she knows very little about. It was a difficult discussion for me, when talking about our roots, it's very hard to know what to share and what to withhold for the sake of the dialogue. Nonetheless, it was a wonderful small conversation.
After I got home that night, I realized that my new friends in San Diego don't know much about me besides the basic details; and worst of all, I don't know their roots either. Why I haven't shared more about myself? After pondering for a couple of moments the answer seemed evident: Nobody ever asked.
Often times we just assume everyone has a story so we assume it holds no dire importance to our current relationship. We know a tree has roots, so why bother digging them up? However, if we want to truly love well, we have to see roots. Not only does understanding the roots of a person develop a deeper appreciation for their person, but the simple act of asking cultivates a profound trust.
I've decided not to wait until a friend asks me. I'm going to initiate a root conversation.
Who in your life do you need to initiate a root conversation with?