Not a fun thing to talk about; yet, yesterday I heard a couple that I respect deeply talk about their marital struggles. They both had a difficult time the first couple years of their union because baggage they brought into the relationship. After the talk, I walked up to the husband and I said, "Thanks for being vulnerable about the messy things, it was refreshing to hear someone talk about something so personal."
Many of our communities lack really vulnerability. It's easy to be 'vulnerable' about commonalities:
- I'm tired
- I'm busy
- I'm sick
But, real, messy vulnerability is not so easy to talk through:
- My anxiety makes me not sleep very easy anymore
- My anger is getting the best of me more times that I'd like to admit
- My relationship is just not healthy right now
Messy vulnerability leaves space for people to hear what's really going on, not the surface level updates that are quickly in one ear and out the other. Real relationships are built when you feel heard and understood on the deepest level of who you are. Messy Vulnerability doesn't have a cute bowtie wrapped around it. Can I give you permission to be vulnerable about the messy things with people you trust?