Insecurity and God
I used to think I was going to be able to conquer all my insecurities and fears. Over this past year, I realized that I'm most likely wrong. If I'm going to to be honest, I still struggle with many insecurities that are shallow. These insecurities come from one dominant fear...
Am I good enough?
I've been impatient as I've pleaded with God to take it away:
- "God, why won't this go away, I've prayed about it so many times".
- "God, why am I still struggling with this?!"
- "Where are you in the midst of this?"
As I've prayed these exact prayers before, God has revealed something to me. Often times, God doesn't take away the darkness, he walks with us through the darkness. He often won't conquer something for us, but he will give us the tools to better deal with the insecurity at hand. I will say that my fear of not being good enough is still present, but over the years I've learned ways to manage the fear, which in turn, makes it easier.
We need to trust the process... I need to trust the process. God is continually making us more like him day by day if we allow him to; however, it's a slow, strenuous, painful process of digging. In the midst of the dig, we must know God is right there with us, walking along side of us, urging us on with words like, "Do not fear for I am with you". If we put in the work, over time these insecurities and fears will become smaller and smaller as God gets bigger and bigger.