In the Midst
There's beauty in the midst.
It's 6 AM and I walk through the doors of LA fitness. Feeling tired and groggy, I see a man walk by me with much bigger arms than me. After our shoulders brushed, I looked at myself in a passing mirror and knew I wasn't even close to his fitness level. After thinking about my lack for about a minute, I noticed how bad I felt. Writing this right now I wanted to put, "it might sound stupid, but I felt bad". If I actually wrote the words, "it might sound stupid" I would intrinsically be stating that I'm the exception, that others don't struggle with similar thoughts, and that is wrong. Why? We all struggle with insecurity and we all deal with it in a different way, some of us hide, some of us compare, some of us insult, some of cry, but we all wrestle with self-worth.
- What if I told you to tell me a story where you felt a "lack in your humanity'?
- What if I told you that in the midst of your lack you can add abundance into someone else?
- What if, "in the midst", you can help someone?
So many times, we wait until we "conquered" that addiction, insecurity, or fear but freedom is found in communicating where you are at right now, not where you want to be. I'm not ashamed of my "feeling of lack" because I know I'm not alone. Can you not be ashamed of your "feelings of lack", but instead share it in the knowledge that someone will find hope know they are not alone? In the forging of your personhood, it's going to get messy.
Find beauty in the Midst of your lack
P.S. Don't worry, dirty vulnerability is the beginning of your own healing process.